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Dear friends,

Life is about choices. Choices have consequences. The right choice leads to the right consequence but sadly making wrong choices will equal to wrong consequences. One of the choices of life is relationships! Choosing the right friend, association, partner and spouse needs to be done by Godly wisdom.

Nobody wants to get disappointed and hurt. Sadly some people come in our lives to use and abuse us. We may have been the 'victim' and we may have been the 'oppressor'. However, we need to learn to make a quality decision to change and to get up and move on again in life.

The Holy Spirit is the agent of change. He is the Spirit of the Kingdom of God. Remember as Born-Again believers, we are children of God and partakers of the Kingdom. When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, He repairs our broken-heart and our disappointment. He also changes us from being an 'oppressor' or 'abuser' to become a different person. When we submit to His leadership, we are not stagnant but progressive in all aspects of life.

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God."
Rom. 8:14

The kingdom of God operates in love. The Holy Spirit pours the love of God in our hearts (Rom. 5:5). Manipulation, intimidation and domination is not part of the Kingdom of God but it is how the devil operates. We need to learn to break the shackles of manipulation, intimidation and domination. We should not allow people to control our emotion and life and we shouldn't be controlling people. God the Holy Spirit must be leading us!
The love of God does not have selfish motives. His love is genuine and sincere. The pure character of God is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8. God's love does not have hidden motives. It is a pure and trustworthy love.

3Ds of relationship

Relationship have the ability to either drain, disillusion and destroy you or deliver, delight and deploy you. Some relationships will bind you whereas others will hurt you. I encourage you to be strong and to find the right people and learn to say no to the wrong friendship, those who have the three negative Ds (drain, disillusion and destroy) and bind you. Learn to appreciate people who by God's grace have your best interest at heart and possess the three positive Ds (deliver, delight and deploy your gift) . When a friendship deploys you, it believes and brings the best out of you. This type of relationship will hurt your life.

The 3Gs of a robbing relationship

There are 3G's that rob us of peace of mind and that torments us:

  • Guilt

  • Grievance

  • Grudges


We feel guilty when we hurt others but we feel grudges when others hurt us. God does not want us to live a life of grief! He has given us the gift of salvation through Jesus. The blood of Jesus has the power to cleanse our conscience from every guilt. As we cast our care on God, He takes away our grievances and empowers us to forgive instead of holding grudges.

God sent a Savior and has provided forgiveness by His grace. He saved us from our sin, from the devil and hell and he also saved us from ourselves. We have a tendency to try to do things our way rather than living life God's way.

Certain relationship, friendship and association must be broken. We must always walk in love and forgiveness. We need to be strong and say goodbye to those who use and abuse us. We greet them with peace but we refuse to put ourselves in a position where they will manipulate, intimidate and dominate us. Break every low self-esteem and spirit of inferiority and walk in the fulness and blessing of God.

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